


I Wanna Sex You

by spaceorphan



Category: Glee
Genre: Drunk Kurt, Ficlet, Fifteen Minute Fic, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 14:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17266235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceorphan/pseuds/spaceorphan
Summary: Written for 15-minute nonny prompt:Klaine- "How was I supposed to know sexy striptease was going to be hazardous"





	I Wanna Sex You

Kurt and Blaine stumbled into their apartment after an evening filled a little karaoke with Santana and Rachel at the local piano bar, and a lot of wine.  Blaine was in a happy, tipsy place.  Kurt was, well, kinda trashed.  

They had come home early - Rachel had to get up the next day, and well, Santana found a girl she wanted to try things with, so that meant the two of them were on their own - though neither would say they were disappointed.  

“Why don’t we watch a little TV and head to bed,” Blaine suggested.  

“Noooo,” Kurt cried, leaning into Blaine as Blaine took off both their jackets and put them over the couch.  “We’re still yooooung.  We can’t be old marrieds yet, Blaine.  We’re turning into old marrieds – fabulous old marries but I wanna be young married with you.” 

“Kurt, it’s not that early, it’s almost after midnight….”

“Nooo,” Kurt said, pushing Blaine onto the couch.  “I wanna sex you.” 

“Oh you do, do you,” Blaine said with a laugh.  As much as he’d never pass up an opportunity to get naked with his husband - he was well aware of how drunk Kurt was, and knew this wouldn’t get very far.  “Just how are you going to sex me?” 

“I’m gonna do a sexy dance,” Kurt said, wiggling his tush.  “I’m gonna sex you with my sexy dance and then we’re gonna sex and I’m gonna be sooo happy.” 

“You’re not happy now.” 

“I’ll be happier when I dance for you sexy dance.” 

Blaine tried not to giggle too hard as Kurt began shaking his booty a little wilder – making sure to turn around and push it up into Blaine’s face a little.  Kurt then began to sing - what song, Blaine wasn’t entirely sure, but Kurt was lost in his own little world.  Shaking his hips, and his booty and waving his arms wildly.  

“Now comes the sexiest sexy part,” Kurt whispered.  He began to slowly unbuttoned his shirt, then seductively traced a finger down his chest.  “Do you think I’m sexy Blaine?” 

Blaine bit back his laughter.  “I think your absolutely adorable.” 

“Noooo,” Kurt cried.  He threw himself at Blaine, straddling his lap.  “I wanna be sexy!”  

He smushed his lips to Blaine’s, though the kiss was incredibly too sloppy to really have any effect.  When it didn’t work Kurt decided to go back to dancing, though being so drunk, he was completely uncoordinated and threw himself backwards, and landed back first into the coffee table with a resounding thud.

“Kurt!!” Blaine shot up to see if Kurt, who had now rolled to the floor and who had cried out in pain, was okay.  “Sweetie, are you hurt? Are you okay?”

“That wasn’t sexy was it?” 

With an amused sigh, Blaine helped Kurt up.  “Let’s get you into bed, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

A little while later, they lay on their bed, Blaine spooning Kurt, gently brushing his fingers through his hair.  “Well, you don’t have any bumps on your head, that’s a good sign.”  

“How was I supposed to know sexy striptease was going to be hazardous?” Kurt said, his words still a little slurred together. 

“Maybe it’s for the better, because now I can just hold you - which is my favorite thing to do.” 

“Bla-aine - this is better than sexing?”

“Right now, yeah.” And with that, Blaine gave a sweet kiss to the top of Kurt’s head, and snuggled into him. 


End file.
